23 September 2010

Sucks to be You!

(Photograph copyright 2010, all rights reserved)

It's 90 degrees here in the City of Wind today, which is very, very odd. It's just not supposed to be this hot at this time of year. I'll take it, though. This is one of those days I'll be grateful for in February, when I'm all cranky about the cold, right?

Everyone at Dear Prudie is feeling very sorry for themselves this week, so I've had to change the name of the entry. I have never seen such a bunch of self-pitying whiners!

1. You had a teacher that was a bully. I feel for you. I do. I had one of those in third grade. She used to slap a couple of carefully selected kids on a regular basis and she was just...mean. I hated the woman. Other kids used to draw pictures of her falling off cliffs and such. Several of us complained, and like you, we were told that if we behaved ourselves better, we wouldn't have a problem. HAH!

But that's NOT your current problem, is it? You have a brand new MEd, and you need a job. In your old district. Where the same appalling woman is STILL being nasty to little kids and you just don't want to work with her. Hmmm.

Sucks to be you. 

Listen kid, I don't know how old you are, but  allow me to give you a life lesson. You are not going to adore every human being that you ever work with in your life. You don't have to, either. No one expects that of you. What they DO expect is civilized behavior and that you learn to be polite to EVERYONE, not just your buddies.

Sure, I see where you're coming from. Every time you see this woman, the little kid that she spent a year crapping on shivers a little. Probably she's doing the very same thing to another kid right now, and has been doing it to other kids all along. You want to tell on her, but you know you won't be listened to....


You don't have the job yet. If you do get the job, what you will have to do is keep your mouth shut and your head down and do whatever it takes to keep that job. Right now, you need to put food on the table and pay off student loans. You don't have the standing, the authority or the money to make a stand right now.

I have one question for you, though. Why is this the only place you're looking for work? Education systems across the country and being revamped right now and they are screaming for young people with your qualifications to go and work for them. If the only answer is that you're afraid to move, then you'd better re-think that, kid. In this economy you don't get to confine your job search to three square miles and then whine about the choices you have to make.

2. This sounds like something people dream about! Three colleagues throw off the traces and go to work for themselves. You have a dream job that's the perfectest perfect situation in the whole wide world except for one teeny little thing....

Which I have to agree with you about. Going without a bra, particularly if she really needs one, is really unprofessional and rude of your colleague. Why she would do this, after having reined in the girls for her entire adult life, is anyone's guess. It's her problem anyway, not yours. You just don't know how to tell her what you think...

Sucks to be you!

So what's the big deal? Why so tentative? Are you frightened of this woman? Do you think she might throw something at you if you mention the obvious wobble? Does she pack iron? Or are you just afraid you might blush, so you're looking for an excuse not to bring it up?

This is a beef that I have with a LOT of people who write to advice columns. I assume that the three of you are friends, right? You'd have to be, to survive in a three-person company. You all know each other pretty well, you all know the business you're in, so what's the big deal? Quit pussyfooting around and


You have to call a meeting either at the beginning or the end of the day and say something like, "Shirley (or whatever), this new habit of yours of going bra-less has got to stop. It looks unprofessional and it's not the way we want to attract business. We can't afford to have you undermining our appearance by not taking care of yours."

OR.... you could just call her into your office and say, "Shirley, cover your tits. It looks sloppy."

See? Easy! Save yourself the angst! TELL HER!

Geez, what an idiot!

3. Ok chickie-boo. I'll grant you that it must have been nice to have your husband around the house for ten months, especially with the baby. No doubt it made your life easier to have another body around 24/7 to help maintain the house and take the kid when you wanted to go somewhere. I'm sure it's been an adjustment dealing with him working again....

Sucks to be you!

Let me get this straight.....you wrote to the Internet lady to bitch about your husband HAVING A JOB? Where the hell do you get off with that crap? What are you, made of money that you can afford to have both of you home full time? And what were YOU doing while he was job-hunting? Why weren't YOU working at some stupid retail job or something?

You claim your son is "hysterical" and you're demanding that your husband change his work hours, even though he's brand-new and this company and no doubt people with his qualifications are a dime a dozen and ALL willing to take his job right now....


You silly bitch! Your husband is working those long hours to feed you while you choose not to work and all you can do is whine because he's not home for dinner? Do you have any idea how lucky you are right now? Do you understand that people are ending up homeless because they just can't find work?

Here's my advice. When your husband gets home tonight, you will be wearing a pretty apron and nothing else. You will be by the door, with a martini or alcoholic beverage of his choice on a tray, waiting for him. When he has finished that, you will tell him how grateful you are that he is willing to work those long hours to support his family.

You will thank him and you will apologize to him for being such a bitch. Because that's what you're being right now, a whiny, entitled bitch. Deal.

4. Ah, other people's kids. Your kid's best friend sleeps over and won't eat what you cook. This has become a Big Deal and the focus of your life right now, because naturally, what someone else's kid eats or doesn't will probably destroy The World As We Know It.

Sucks to be you!

Sure, you know how to handle a picky eater if it's your own kid. So what's the big deal with this one? No parent ever wins this fight if they allow it to become a fight, and the kid you're complaining about isn't even yours!


Have you even considered calling the child's parents and ASKING what you can do about this? Did it even cross your mind that you can conspire with whoever normally feeds this kid and come up with something that will work on the nights she stays over?

Seriously, how is it that this never crossed your mind before? It's such a no-brainer!

And here we are at my latest pet peeve AGAIN. TALK TO THE OTHER MOM. Duh, fucking duh!


Now here I have to interject on the picky eater thing. Lots of people on The Fray are dispensing a lot of "wisdom" about how to raise a kid that will eat whatever you put in front of it. They are all missing the point that the kid in question isn't the LWs kid! Her pickiness is her parents problem!

That said, my Cool Niece is now 3 1/2 years old. She is not terribly picky. In fact, her mother never gave her the option of having anything but healthy food, so I can't see her ever becoming "the kid who will only eat white food" or whatever.

She does get some choice in her dinners, though. The protein is a set item - say turkey burgers or whatever. THEN her mother will ask if she wants (for example) broccoli or carrots. The kid chooses one. There are no other options. The same goes for dessert - blueberries or peaches? And so on. It works.

I have never seen her throw a fit at the table - which is a good thing. According to her mother though, upon being presented with a bowl of Spaghetti-Os at a friend's house, the kid leaned over and told her mom, "Mommy, I don't like this," in a stage whisper.

That is the moment my friend was quite willing to say, "Who let that kid in here? Because I've never seen it before in my life!"


  1. ...well there was a time when my oldest daughter underwent a spell during her todler years when she discovered spagettios and then came to the conclusion that the only edible food was round and had a hole in the middle --so Cherrios and spagettios were it....

    PS: love the pix --sorry I missed last week's.

  2. Thanks Kati! I haven't posted in a couple of weeks. Last week's letters were kinda...not so hot.

    I took that photo at the Chicago Botanic Garden. The cactus is only about four inches tall.